critical art

Researching for my next paper on walter benjamin in the age of copyright issues, i came across this site. interesting stuff, very intelligent artists: critical art ensemble

help me resist fascism

my upstairs neighbor, turkish girl sezgi, who is 30 went to the as station to buy cigarettes (buy 1 get 1 free marlboro) they didn't accept her turkish driver's license, with which she can enter bars and drive a car within ny state.
so i went in with my non-driver's id. the cashier looked out the window and said "oh, you're with that girl without id. i can't sell you cigarettes." i said, "well, I smoke." she said, "i don't care, it's the state law." i said' "how do you know it's not for me?" she said, "it's the state law. bye."(what law? as if sezgi 9 yr old kid waiting outside!) i said, "oh my god, you americans." and left. (not denying could've said something much worse, with total satisfaction and faith in my words.)
we returned home, she picked up her passport and returned to the gas station.
the cashier: (looking at the first page of her passport) It's expired! (she's goddamn clever inspector gadget, as if she is the custom's officer!)
sezgi: turn the page.
the cashier:(sees it's nowhere near being expired) your friend said damn americans.
sezgi: no she wouldn't say that
the cashier: i have two witnesses. (watching too much judge mathis or whatever?)
sezgi: you're weird, everything's weird! (shouts)
the cashier: (silent due to shock) next time she has to be...
and sells the cigarettes.

if i hadn't met really clever people in this country i really like i would have said: the whole world has a reason to think the way they do about americans.
but that would be fascistic and mean and stereotypical, so instead i will be calm and not let the some robotic americans bring out the worst in me, and lose my faith in human will to resist fascism.

desir de l'autre

I'm losing, I'll lose my mind

You don't know how you want it
I don't know how you want it
Why won't you talk about it?

The Radio Dept.

rem, you rock

i went to cornell with ali to the lecture of rem koolhaas, the architect. i couldn't believe how he was worshipped. One kid in Q&A part picked the mic and said, "Rem, you rock! Delirious NY was awesome!" and the old man laughed. the lecture was very inspiring for me; some ideas i pcked up: prospective preservation and architecture as a discourse, as knowledge production. i also learned he attended foucault's lectures at cornell before he wrote delirious new york. now i have to read that book.

rem and another guy from cornell 

koolhaas, eu exhibition building in brusells 

growing up in turkey in 80s

bunu buraya koymak zorundayim harika ve unutulmamali:
it's about living in turkey in 80s and it's untranslatable
80'LI YILLARDA YASAMAK DEMEK

-Icraatin içinden demek, semra koy bir kaset de nesemizi bulalim demek. Köprü demek, ödediginiz her kurus verginin yol, su,elektrik olarak size geri dönmesi demek
-voltran voltran voltran demek , depozito toplamak adina kola sisesi biriktirmek
-adile nasit ten masal dinlemek demek.
-clementine, he man, she ra, transformers demek.
-okula siyah önlükle gitmek demek.
- kayahan,nilüfer,sezen aksu, baris manço ile büyümek demek
-köle izaura demek, ziyaretçiler demek!!!!
- acidçi misin metalci mi demek...
-moruk demek, herild yani demek, hey corc versene borc demek, olmaz maykil bende de yok cevabini isitmek demek
-yüzyil içindeki en iyi, en kiyak kusak. hem eski hem yeni olmak demek.
-eti kemik geciyor demek
-televizyon konserlerini teybe çekerken odaya giren anneyi hemen susturmak,
-son dersin son 5 dakikasinda parkeleri giyip zilin çalmasini beklemek,hurraa kapiya dolusmak, disariya pestil olarak çikmak demek
-sinek ilaci arabalarinin arkasinda biraktigi bulutta deli gibi dolasmak demek.
-kutu kolayi actiktan sonra kapagini cekip cikarip atmak demek
-pazar aksamlari mecburen yikanmak ve erken yatmak demek
-süper babaanne demek, fantayla kolayi karistirmak demek, mahalle kavrami demek.
-anket ve hatira defterlerinin olmasi bunlara seviyorum ama kimi diye baslayan maniler yazmak
-pkk saldirilarinda her gün mutlaka birilerinin öldügünü duymak ama anlamamak demek.
-kenan evreni atatürk zannetmek demek..
-Gorbaçov'un kafasindaki kirmiziligin ne oldugunu merak etmek
-batman ve sirnak'in henüz il olmadigi günleri hatirlamak,
-özalin çenesinin enteresan yapisina anlam veremeyip, "acaba benim çenem de ilerde böyle olur mu" kaygisiyla aynaya bakmak demek...
-ben yapinca alisverisi,zaten aliyorum satis fisi replikleri barindiran ali-aysegül atik reklami ve bakkal amca, bir pergel, bir kalem, bir de çikolata alacagim. erooooolll, eroooolll (mahallede çocuklardan biri) buraya gelin dedim size buraya ! fisini de al oglum'daki meshur erol, hadi hep birlikte,hep birlikte, biz biz olalim yemeklerden önceeee, lavaboya kosalim, hafta da bir kere tirnaklari keselim, firçalayip onlari tertemiz olalim diye sarkilar ezberleyen bir nesil olmak
-analogtan dijitale geçis devrini yasamis birey oldugunu anlamak ve ikisinden de farkli zevkler aldiginin farkina varmak demek
-Hava durumlarinin eksi degil de "sifirin altinda bilmem kaç" denildigini bilmek demek
-trt 1'de olusan sorunlar sonucu yayina bir süre ara verildiginde ekrana getirilen donuk agaç, dag bayir resmine 10 dakika hareketsiz bakabilmek demek,
-kasetten kasete cekerdik muzikleri, eger dolu kasedin ustune cekilcekse kasedin tepesindeki, iki yandaki bosluk seloteyple kapatilirdi.
- tek cekirdek markasinin uzerinde cinli kiz olan olmasi.
- cam sisede sut, cam sisede 2 litrelik kola.
- fame city ve taksim mc donalds in acilmasi ve istisnasiz herkesin gitmesi.
- 'ulan hiyar' demek yerine, aptal, salak, akillim demek.
- trt nin yazin cocuk kusagi diye gunun yarisini cizgifilme ayirmasi.
- 'atlikarinca' isminde cocuklar icin brezilya dizisi (sinifta zengin beyaz kiz, fakir siyah oglan)
- eve terli ve camurlu gelmenin ulke genelinde anneleri cok rahatsiz etmesi.
- beyaz atleti beyaz slip donun icine sokmanin normal olmasi
- sac bandinin en sevilen toka olmasi ve alnin baslangic cizgisinden itibaren takilmasi
-teneffuslerde lambada dansi yapilmasi
-interaktif romanciligin basi ve macera tuneli serisi (eger tunele girsin diyosaniz sayfa 66, dag yolunu tercih etsin diyosaniz 12)
-spastik ozurlunun en yaygin kufur olmasi
-algidanin yeni cikmasi, dondurmanin sadece yaza ozgu bi tatli olmasi
-algida banana joe, kinder surpriz, tipitip, sulugoz ve sigara seklinde cikolata
-fame cityde dogumgunu
-zit tokai diye anlamsiz bisey reklam miyddi bu? belki de 90lar dan mi?
-ali desidero (bu da 90lar basi miydi)
-dogumgunu pastaciliginda cigir acilmasi ve pastalarin, icinde barbi yatan yatak, yada ustunde resim olan pastalara donusmesi
-barbi evi, arabasi, banyosunun ortaya cikip son oyunlarimizda yer edinmeleri
-panco cipsi (doritos olmamisti)
-bir yaz herkes sacina renkli iplik ordurmustu ama adini unuttum bu aktivitenin
-sscb diye bir ulke ve bir anda degisen haritalar
-tren opsun seni zeki muren ve kasik erkeklere/kizlara asik (acaba hala var mi bu tekerlemeler)
-sana bir sinek masali anlatiyim mi? anlat. anlat demekle olmaz. sana bi sinek masali anlatiyim mi. anlat.... gibi sacmalik otesi bisey
-kizlarin ell cirparak oynadigi oyun, sarkisi da suydu: ende de plamo ende de si bon bon you are for me my motha, you are for me my fatha.. herkes heralde farkli farkli yazar bunun sozlerini
-bizimkiler dizisi
-ilkokullarin onunde herseyi satan adamlar
-abone ve askin nur yenginin siseye ufledigi sarki
-duydunuz zilin sesini - evet hayir yarismasi
-hayat agaci - sam
-blue jean dergisinin falan ispanyol dizisindeki karakterlerin posterlerini vermesi
cikartmalarla kapli dolaplar
- "Fosfor Olayi" - fosforlu t-shirtler, aksesuarlar, fosforlu mesin yuvarlagim ve fosforlu renk iceren hersey
-uzayli zekiye, mavi muammer, perihan abla
-gastelerin verdigi kagit maket evler
- Karaşimşek ( arabanın karakterinin kötüleştiği ve toprağın altında kaldığı bölümler)
- Grup vitamin - ismail
- Çıplak gösteren gözlük efsanesi ( abi avrupadan getirdi arkadaşım)
- Arap baci dizisi

elevator to 15th floor

today i discovered that the elevator of our building is the most intellectual place i've ever been. i took the elevator to go down to 1st floor with other people from our floor (the top, 15th floor) and noticed how everyone was speaking like: "Camus could not finish his latest work..." "That's so Benjaminian.." "I thought it was Proust who said it.." "I'll present my paper on Kant.." "Saw some Warhols at the MoMA.." etc. etc. i made some of them up right now, coz could not remember all that was said. but it felt weird.

a note on landlords

in this crappy town the landlords and agencies that rent houses think that they own the world and every right to act however they want, instead of respecting us students, out of whom they make a living. (if it wasn't for our spending money, this town would be erased from maps)
today i had an appointment with sall associates at 9 am. i went to the address and they were not there i called them, and a guy told me, he'd make sure someone was on his/her way. then after 5 minutes or so i got a call back from the agency telling me that they have already rented the place i was supposed to look at. the girl on the phone said, "how about i show you some other place, at 12.30". at that point i got really mad and told them i did not have any time to waste and they should have called me before to tell me they rented the house i was going to look at.
no one messes around with me. if they do they get what they deserve.
seriously, half of the time, in this continent, i am pissed and i scold everyone: bus drivers, bank officials, at&t, sprint, time warner, school administration...

proust and memories disc creator

after reading so much proust (i will start the last volume tonight!) i developed a respect for keeping and preserving memories.
and by luck i've downloaded, i never download the updates, the latest update by hp which is memories disc creator. you can create your own photo album with a soundtrack and then write it to cd! i hate all the software monopolies but i have to admit i started liking hp for this tool. (there are probably plenty of others which i am not aware of but still, this one is really easy to use)
i spend all my leftover time from studying, creating photo albums and the soundtrack of my life.
i've always wanted to make a soundtrack of my life, and a soundtrack of an ordinary day for me, or a soundtrack of my university years, or a soundtrack of high school, soundtrack of loves, etc.
now i can.

lacan and blogs

one thing i really learned in my lacan class is how subject tries to enter the symbolic order. we are born ito a language that we did not create and with a name that someone (tradition) gave us. there is no unique word for us to claim as our own. but we desperately need to, want to enter into the symbolic order. the interactive TV shows (like the ones where the audience votes for certain opinion) and blogs are a way for us to believe that we are inserting ourselves in the symbolic order and claiming a certain space of our own.
of course, the question remains if this is just an illusion or does it in fact give us our own autonomous space in the social order where we can resist..
so much for intellectualism, now is the time to go for a walk in the sun.

free culture

I've just finished reading free culture by lawrence lessig, which i found illuminating in many ways. he's a really clever and just law professor. although i have certain objections/additions to some of his arguments:
first of all i find it really naive to believe that property and the protection of property is the basis of a free culture. this belief is ingrained into our brains by the capitalist system we live in.
secondly, and rightfully, he does not spend much time discussing the international issue in intellectual property, since he knows and talks about US constitution. but i believe that international aspects are more crucial today.
lastly, his linking the free culture with free market to win over the free market advocates bothered me. i guess by now every clever person, academician, knows that free market is a utopic dream. no market can function (and function justly) without regulation.
overall i agree with most of his arguments on internet and file-sharing, however i am more of a, what he calls anarchist, than him. because i believe in totally free sharing of music, films, information on the internet. and perhaps like a utopian idealist i believe that internet will create an environment that is not governed by money!
anyone interested should check his blogspot..

stresssssssssssss

i am so stressed right now. final papers and apartment hunt for me and my friend elif for next semester. most of the houses are for rent starting from june and i don't want to pay for june and july since we won't be here.
i hate all the landlords here, they are vampires, they should kneel before us and thank us for renting their crappy houses in this village, instead they act as if they are feudal lords.
i am praying to fing an apartment opening for august. please pray with me. insallah..

bo olu sehirde yazin tadini cikarabilcegim en guzel yer mezarlik cikti. bir ironi daha! mezarlik hayat dolu. 

kulagimda ibo, burnumda barbecue kokulari sanki guneye yolculuga ciktim, durup kofte ayran yiycem. biri beni barbecue ye davet etse! cok mutluyum. 

academy is burying us alive 

film fest

the worst thing about not being in istanbul is missing the film festival. each film festival was special for me. first it was with esra. skipping school and ending up in horrible films to which we would drag our moms. elvis the pelvis or whatever it was called, that terrible film from which i can only remember the lines "nietzsche is dead: god". haha so funny. my mother hated it, too. and for a little while we had to act a bit less snobbish about our superior tastes and finding the "hit" films, without even knowing.
then a stressful time with the university examinations, only saw 2 films that year (ghost dog and all about my mother). and they were worth the stress of not solving tests, or not going to dersane.
then with ali. seeing the same people. then ali me and sibel. fun but ali and I were not really getting along then. then me ali and sibel but this time I was taking mithat bey's lifechanging cinema courses. acquiring tastes. discussing the films with likeminded individuals.
now me here in binghamton, watching films from my laptop trying to forget how miserable i am in terms of film experience. cannot talk to anyone about moodysson, jarmusch, almodovar, alain delon, nanni moretti, antonioni, amenebar, spring, summer, autumn, winter and again spring..., swamp, dog days, chabrol, weather underground.
ali called just now and helped me remember the films that captured us. we would go to at least 3 films on weekends (when we were younger of course)
and of course, with esra we always ran out of money, and did not ask for it from our moms, god knows why. we sold film tickets to buy something to eat and find a shelter from the rain.
we always ran the risk of missing the 10.30 sessions on sundays.
we recognized everyone by the end of two weeks.
sibel me and ali became a really good group, except one time can kurtulus sat next to sibel at that film swamp and would not stop talking, poor sibel could not follow the film.
and one time as an audience collective at one of those midnight double films, we laughed like crazy. seeing the bad guy from amenebar's thesis in the first scene of open your eyes, as that character later on played by tom cruise in vanilla sky.
then sometimes I would force my mother and take her to evening sessions. she took her friends, generally oya, zubeyde, huseyin, evsen with her. so I would have to reserve 6 seats beforehand, making the reservation process even more complicated.
sometimes mithat bey would offer to take one of us from the class to 7.30, and as fools, we had things to do!

whoever experienceth that festivity of moving pictures shalt know.(irmak,exegesis: 1)
whoever misseth that chance shalt forever be in loss. (irmak, exegesis: 2)